Danny: C*nt give him two years. Withnail: Scrubbers! Balls! Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Danny: [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch Flowers are essentially tarts. My wife is having a baby. Nor women neither. Withnail: Will it? Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Thought I was going for a minute. These aren't mine, they belong to him. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail: [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] That's politics, innit? Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Monty: The carrot has mystery. Monty: Jake: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Marwood: Withnail & I Quotes Who f***s arses? You got to throttle him. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Withnail: Rejuvenate! Uncle Monty: Oh! We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Oh, Oxford Marwood: [to Marwood] I wouldn't drink that if I was you. The older order changeth, yielding place to new. [pulling back the lace curtain] He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. What fucker said that? One of us has got to stay on guard. Marwood: Time change. Prostitutes for the bees. I'll sleep here. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. There's the supper. Thanks! I feel unusual. Look at Geoff Woade. [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. Have you been at the controls? [voiceover] [a live chicken is standing on the table]. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Withnail: Withnail: I would say. I've been to drama school. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. Oh, Baudelaire. Withnail: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! I say, you know what we should do? Withnail: You've got soup. Monty, Monty! 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. I can't. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Nonsense. A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. Withnail & I streaming: where to watch movie online? - JustWatch Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Chin-chin. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Danny: Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. You don't deserve such loyalty. For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. [eyes filling with tears] We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Withnail and I Quotes They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Give in to it, boy. This *is* the morning. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? You got a rush. Warm up? Stop saying that! This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! Withnail: You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. You have made it high. It's the only solution to this intense cold. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" I wondered if you could sell us some food. [to Marwood] [holding up a pill] [narrating over scene] I'm good looking. I have a heart condition. Have another look in that shed. This thread is archived. What are we going to do about it? reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. It's like Greenland in here. Withnail: This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Little tarts, they love it! awesome war quotes Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? He's been fed from arsehole to beak. What are we supposed to do with that? 4 Mar. We're incompatible. Marwood: Get out of it for a while. [with his mouth full] Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. [reading graffiti] I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". Where did you school? Cunt gave him two years. *Bastards*! The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Here.". Sherry? He's building the prototype now. Don't be ridiculous. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? This doll is extremely dangerous. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . Marwood: Withnail: The thermostats! Vegetables again. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. Let him get his drugs out. I'm not going to understudy anybody. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! Danny: "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! [voiceover] Will we never be set free? Clearly a myth. What the fuck do you mean? Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Withnail And I GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY We're working on a film up here. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. Im in the same boat. Keep back, keep back! [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Withnail and I Quotes Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. When I strike they won't know what hit them! We can't go on like this. Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! Marwood: [pointing at a table] Outvie him. You're out of your mind! What had I done to offend him? Danny: No, man. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. Listen, you young prat. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. What happened to your cigar commercial? Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. withnail and i quotes I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? You don't understand. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." You got a rush. These aren't accidents! Monty: These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! And all at once those frozen hours, melt through the nervous system, and seep out the pores. What's your name, MacFuck? It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. How dare you! I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. Marwood: Marwood: We're early. Black puddings are no good to us. Half an hour? Be seated. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. The entire sink's gone rotten. Marwood: Why trust one drug and not the other? Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Jake: And we want them here, and we want them now! Marwood: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Look at him. Danny: Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Marwood: I do. Listen to this. Marwood: How dare you call me inhumane! The meaning dawns on him. Hair are your aerials. Danny: He can eat his fucking radish. Danny: I'm good-looking. Monty: *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. You merely imagined it. Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Tea Shop Proprietor: 'He used to pick on me. You got a rush. Hurry up, Mabs. Your sensitivity overwhelms me. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. I couldn't, I'm spaced. Who fucks arses? An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. Quotes and one-liners: . What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Marwood: What goods the countryside? Withnail: If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. He's a madman. moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. [picking up an apron] You love him. Quotes from Withnail and I: The Screenplay - BookQuoters